You may be going through something in your life that makes communication a bit tricky. You may also have trouble telling your friends that you don’t feel like going out with them or you may not be upto video calling with them as much as they want to. Due to this reason, it is important to learn how to set boundaries around communication with people.
Boundaries mean how you would like to communicate with other people and things you do or do not like to hear during communication. Once you’ve known what makes you uncomfortable, you’ll let the other party know, so they don’t say or do those particular things.
🙅♀️ Why do we need to set boundaries?
Setting boundaries is important because we all have different ways of reacting to things that happen around us, and sometimes we go through challenging times. Some people crave connection with others with the hope of lessening their feelings of isolation, this is why most people join social media and communication platforms such as Talkliv to meet new people, chat and reimagine the way they view the world.
There are also people who like to withdraw from social interactions as a way of preserving themselves. Setting this kind of boundary can allow you to communicate the level of social interaction that feels supportive and uplifting instead of being overwhelmed and depleted.
Adjusting to a different way of socialization can sometimes feel emotionally and mentally exhausting, more so if you are not on the same page with people who are close to you. In case you are feeling like you don’t have enough capacity to communicate with your friends, or don’t want to be involved in conversations about particular topics, it is important to define clear communication boundaries.
🤔 Is creating boundaries an easy thing to do?
Creating boundaries with the people you love is not as easy as creating boundaries with people you meet online on Facebook or Talkliv. Trying to set communication boundaries with people you love is probably the hardest thing to do, because they may feel you are being cold to them. However, being clear about the kind of boundaries you want to set can prevent issues from occurring in the future, including hurting people’s feelings.
It is key to remember that setting boundaries can be relational and personal. The boundaries you set affect more than just you. Being clear about your communication boundaries without leaving any doubt about what you expect from friends is really beneficial in communication.
It is important to connect with your emotional limits and know just how much you can talk, text or hear from people you are communicating with. You need to also be honest with people about your boundaries so you are clear even in communication.
Khoucasian says that apart from being honest, it is important to be compassionate while establishing your boundaries. Even though it is important that we all check our mental health and try to get some alone time when we need it, we should try to make sure that our friends still feel appreciated and wanted.
While setting boundaries, it is possible to see a person’s sensitivity that was not there before. People may feel abandoned or rejected when we set boundaries while communicating with them. But when you let them see that the communication boundary is nothing personal, and that they haven’t done anything wrong, they will more than likely understand. Keep reminding them that the boundary is all about you.
Furthermore, when drawing boundaries, it can also be essential to explain the reason why you need that particular boundary in communication, especially if you are communicating with a close friend. Creating boundaries with new people you meet online from overseas on a social platform like Talkliv is okay, but when it comes to friends, you have to be careful not to ruin relationships.
Sometimes you may feel like less social communication is better because you are tired of work, or you may be dealing with family issues and need some space to relax and unwind.
While friendly colleagues may not require this level of information about your personal life, it can be beneficial to inform relatives or close friends of the context when you tell them you need some time alone. Those who care about you will want to help you feel your best, even if it means imposing stricter limits on when and what you can talk about.
Making boundaries doesn’t mean you are trying to destroy the relationship, but it is just a way of putting structures around in your relationship and in a way that is much healthier for the current situation of burnout. It is possible to keep an even better quality level of friendship, even if communication happens less often.
💁♂️💁♀️ How to establish boundaries around specific subjects?
It is essential to not create boundaries on how frequently you communicate, but more around the subjects of communication. Sometimes talking a lot about some topics like politics or hearing a friend complain may cause problems to our mental health. If you feel this way, you can communicate your boundary clearly without hesitation.
People often send news to their friends, and sometimes it is about venting on a particular issue. This may look like a good intention at first but it is also important that the recipients of this content explain their boundaries about specific topics they like or don’t like.
When you communicate boundaries about certain topics even through chats on Talkliv or other platforms, it is important to still assume the best intent. Again, when you communicate boundaries, always remember to mention that it is about you and not them. For instance when someone is trying to send you too much news and you don’t like it, you can tell them you appreciate them for informing you, but you would prefer to have a more peaceful and positive time.
😤 What to do if someone crosses your boundaries?
Apart from the boundary, it is a good idea to communicate assurance. If a close friend wants to complain or vent about an issue, and you are not in the position to hear them out, you should let them know about it. Later when you feel like talking or hearing them, you can discuss the topic or offer advice. You can also help them vent out their situation by pointing them to a professional who can help them better.